rise and shout the cougars are out!

Yea Mom!

we are SO proud of our mom, who has run up and down the field multiple times to earn her degree. that's right...she did it! and we couldn't be more proud. not only did she earn her degree, but she was also the valedictorian of her class! today we were able to attend a graduation ceremony held in mom's honor. there were tears shed but lots more smiles.

(by the way, doesn't she look GREAT!)

Vice President of Academics, John Tanner was there presiding over the ceremony. We were able to here wonderful messages from not only him, but also Gary Cornia Dean of The Marriott School of Business and a wonderful woman representing the Continuing Education Program (her name has slipped my mind...it's been a long day). it was an amazing ceremony, for an amazing woman.

there were so many there to support and cheer for her on this big day. thank you all for your love and support.

now off to mt. rushmore!

To floss, or not to floss: that is the question.

Hello family and friends. This is Dan (Darla's son) hopping on my mom's blog at her request to provide an update on how she is doing.

The title of this post is "To floss, or not to floss: that is the question." The point of this title is not to improve the dental hygiene of the reader, but rather, my hope is to help us all to consider what is really important in our lives and to do more to pay attention to those things.

The other day, Mom said to me something along the lines of, "You know, I guess I don't have to floss any more." Fortunately though, we both agreed that brushing would still be a good idea since many friends and family members would be coming to visit in the upcoming days. In that sentence, Mom was doing more than throwing caution to the wind in regards to her war against cavities, she was making a profound observation: It is important to evaluate our lives on occasion and make sure that the less important things in life are being set aside to allow room for that which matters most.

Now, I'm not suggesting that we all stop flossing (in fact, I'll be the first to admit, I could definitely do a better job cultivating that habit). Rather, I propose that we think about what we would do differently if we knew that we only had one month to live. How would we treat those we love if we knew that this might be the last time they see us? Would we be more kind to those we meet? Would we be less afraid to say things we've always wanted to say? Would we be more willing to share the gospel with those who are close to us? Would we take time to enjoy a sunset, a sunrise, or a sweet smelling flower? Would we chew a little slower to savor our food? Would we spend more time on our knees expressing gratitude for the simple things in life that make living so wonderful? Would we be more willing to use that dollar in our pocket to bless the life of someone in need? Would we sing our favorite songs uncomfortably loud even if we couldn't carry a tune with a wheelbarrow? Would we be less quick to anger and faster to forgive? Would we hold grudges, or would we mend wounds caused by an unnecessary cross word or an unkind deed?

At some point, we will all have one month left to live, however, most of us won't be told when that month will be. For Mom, she was informed last week that she likely has at most one month to live. A blood test revealed that her liver function has decreased dramatically and she is now showing signs of advanced liver failure. The doctor told us that Mom will likely have one to two weeks where she will be able to enjoy a somewhat normal quality of life before things begin to get worse. Needless to say, it has been a difficult few days for all of us.

Many of you may not be able to see Mom or spend much time with her during these next few weeks. Because of that, I want to let you know how wonderfully well Mom is handling this difficult situation. As you all know, Mom is an incredibly positive woman. That quality has only been amplified during the past few months. Not once have I heard "Why me?" Not once has she complained about her situation. If you really make her tell the truth, she might let you in on the fact that her stomach hurts, but she will quickly change the subject to something more fun. She is not concerned about her situation, but worries more about her family and friends she is leaving behind. She has been an example of strength and optimism.

I love you Mom and will miss you more than you'll ever know. You have taught me so much throughout my life and those lessons will be passed on to my children and all those I have the opportunity to teach. At this time, however, I am especially grateful for what you have taught me during the past couple of weeks about making room for that which is most important. Although more than 29 years have passed since I was born, no one month has made more of an impact on my life than this past month. Your example of courage, optimism, and happiness have been etched in my mind forever and I am a better man for having spent this time with you.

It is my hope that we all can treat each month as if it were our last and with the same positive attitude with which Mom has treated this month. As we do so, let us all try to recognize when it's time to throw out life's unnecessary "dental floss" and, instead, spend more time enjoying more of life's important "sweet treats."

I love you Mom!

Start Reminiscing

I have hundreds of the best friends a girl could ask for. You know I could name each one of you personally and go on and on about how grateful I am to have you in my life. Picture me standing in front of you right now looking into your eyes, talking and laughing with you about fond memories we had together. Let's reminisce, you remember all the great times we had together, you remember parties, camp outs, working the concession stands, teaching together, tutoring me, running marathons, hiking, diets, vacations, putting our houses up for sale, kayaking, sharing missionary experiences, DUP, being your teacher (when you were actually teaching me), Eagle projects, sharing baby sitting, watching palm trees grow, Office Peep, bike rides, throwing up while deep sea fishing, crying over family problems, shopping, feeding the thousands, the Four D's, burnt bridesmaid dresses, cutting class and going to the beach, business partners, dancing, watching our sons play high school basketball, girls night out, surprise birthday parties, road trips, being my cancer supporter, swimming with the sharks, late night chats on facebook, sharing in the excitement of marriages and babies, embarrassing moments, long lunches at the Cougar Eat, stays at my house, and long long talks.

Recently I got together with four wives of our law school group. Our husbands all went to law school together, so these friends go back 30 years. There were six couples but one wife wasn't able to make it to our luncheon. What wonderful and dear friends they are. I will cherish their friendship always. Thank you for a fun afternoon girls.


As far as the latest treatment goes, the doctor gave me more options. He also informed me about how toxic they are. I've decided and my kids agree they would like to see me full of energy for awhile. My concern is if I start a new chemotherapy treatment I will lose my energy and appetite again, which isn't conducive to my life style. I have several alternative treatments I have researched and for now I will attempt those. I will continue to go in to the doctor each month and get testing done, especially to see how my liver is doing and to see where the cancer count is. Thank you again for all your love and support.

You've Got a Friend In Me

Tonight one of my dearest friends sent me this picture of her son Billy. He wanted me to know, 'you've got a friend in me.' Thank you for joining Darla's team my sweet Billy.

You Can't Have Too Many Friends

I did meet with the doctor on Friday but I didn't have any chemotherapy. After getting more blood testing done he said the latest chemotherapy isn't working and he would like to try something else next week. As you can see from the most recent cancer count it has gone up (up, up, up). We asked the doctor about a liver transplant and he said that wouldn't be possible because of the 2 - 3 month recovery time after surgery, no chemotherapy would be able to be given during that time and it might cause the cancer which is in other parts of my body to continue to spread.

Since several of you have commented on Daniel coming to town I realize I didn't clarify that very well, they won't be living with me, they will be finding their own place. How grateful I am to have them around for the next few months. He starts his job with the Air Force in January and not knowing yet where he'll be stationed it will be nice to have them close for awhile, since he may be stationed far away.

Speaking of several of you commenting, I need to tell you how much I appreciate all of you. All of your emails and comments have meant a lot to me. I'm sorry I don't reply very well but I appreciate your kind words. I have always thought a person can never have too many friends. Each of you have brought so much joy into my life. My life would not have been the same without having you in it. You have each treated me like I was your favorite, thank you for showing so much love and kindness to me. I remember having a luncheon once and my husband asked me who was coming, I said, "All my friends." He said, "Darla, there isn't a room big enough to hold all your friends." How blessed I have been to have such wonderful friendships. Thank you!

A Hope and A Prayer

Tomorrow I'll get another update on the cancer count. I'm just hoping this new treatment is working and the count has gone down. My last treatment was two weeks ago and my energy and appetite have returned somewhat. A little trepidation in the fact that if the doctor thinks this treatment is working he'll give me another treatment tomorrow and I'll start the lack of energy and lack of appetite routine all over again. But if it works!

I had a CT Scan a week ago Tuesday revealing the cancer is now in 50% of my liver. It's not concentrated in one spot which would probably make it easy to remove that portion, but it's scattered all throughout the liver. Also last Tuesday my son Daniel, daughter Jenna (and her son), and my mom came to town. It's always nice to have family support at the doctor's office when the doctor talks about the results of the CT Scan and the updated prognosis. He knows me pretty well and appreciates my attitude and zest for life, but if you pin him down he'll give the worst case scenario, that is if we can't find the right treatment, I have 2 - 3 months. His best case scenario is 2 - 3 years. As for me, I'm going with the 20 - 30 year plan.

Maybe I'll get a port, I am tired of being a human pin cushion. I just want to be better.

But the good news is my son Daniel, my daughter-in-law Holly, and their kids will be moving to Utah for 3 - 4 months. It will be great having them around along with my daughter Mauri and her family who already lives here. And how fortunate for Daniel to have found a job for those few months as well. Somebody's living right. Of course, that cougar fan will be getting here just in time for football season.

I'm still dancing and enjoying it. We'll be dancing at Tuacahn in October, along with several basketball games this season, one being the New Jersey Nets. I'm just hoping the Nets game doesn't conflict with graduation, which are both in April.

Not Recommended

It's been two weeks since I started my new chemotherapy. Not the best two weeks of my life and I certainly wouldn't suggest it as your next weight loss plan. Let's see, how am I feeling? Absolutely NO energy, definitely NO appetite, and when I do eat... I lose it, plus a constant pain in my liver. I received my third dose of Gemcitabine (the new chemotherapy treatment) yesterday, they cut back on the dosage because my liver is being negatively effected, as for now they aren't sure if it's the Gemcitabine that is causing a negative effect or if it's because the tumors in the liver are growing. I'll schedule another CT scan in a week or two and that will show more. But for now that's my situation.

Mauri, her kids, and I made a quick trip to Arizona to visit my daughter Jenna and surprise her for her birthday.

It was a fun trip and the kids had a great time together.


We brought Abbie home with us for about a week so Jenna could focus on the ice plant with one less stress factor.

I am so proud of Jenna and the hard work she and Jared are doing with the ice plant. They are extremely hard workers and selling ice in Arizona in the summer is a 24 hour a day job. They are an example to us all. I sure love my family.

Napping In The ER

Just a small update... Tuesday I woke up with pain in my neck, shoulder, and back area. I thought I probably just slept on it wrong and asked Mauri to rub it and I was sure that would help. Mauri being the doting daughter that she is said, "no way am I touching you, I'm taking you to the emergency room." In to the ER we went as the pain continued to get worse and worse. Apparently the tumors in my liver which are continuing to grow were causing pressure on my diaphragm which in turn causes pain in my shoulder. Go figure! Thank goodness for that wonderful pain medicine dilaudid, I went right to sleep and didn't feel a thing. Fortunately Mauri and my dad were in the emergency room with me and were able to listen to and talk with the doctors. They also found more tumors on the back of my neck.

As my seminary students would tell you, I have always tried to be fair, I never wanted to see one team beat the other team in a class contest. Ending the game in a tie was my ideal. So I continue with the cancer in my body, why let one area have more tumors than another area? Let's spread them around, no reason the back of my neck shouldn't have a tumor if the front of my neck already has one.

So I will start the new chemotherapy, Gemcitabine, tomorrow.

On the lighter side... my hair is starting to grow back! I still wish it were more fashionable to be seen in public with a buzz cut. Somebody didn't teach those men how to play that fair game, why can they go out in public with a shaved head and a woman can't?

Family update: My wonderful son Daniel finished taking the Arizona Bar yesterday after two long days of tests and two long months of 24 hour a day studying and three years of law school. Congratulations Daniel! He'll get the results in October.

Girls Retreat

I went to a fabulous cabin just outside of Zions with seven of my cousins and one aunt. We had an amazing time. Of course, mostly eating and laughing too much. We hiked the Narrows, played games, relaxed, and thoroughly enjoyed each others company.







Lauren, one of my cousins, is a beautician so she did all of our hair. With me, she shaved on the back "U R O C K" the 'O' is the breast cancer ribbon symbol. Here she's marking it with a marker first before shaving it. Notice my hair is starting to grow back again.

Updates Updates

Sometimes I sit at my computer and stare at the screen. What shall I say, what shall I write... do people really want to read about my health issues? Often people write or call me and ask, "How are you REALLY feeling?" I do get the impression you are genuinely interested. Keep in mind I do feel terrific! As noted from the list to the left, the cancer count did go up slightly, however it has been about three weeks since my last treatment so I was expecting some increase.

As you know the cancer is in my bones, kidneys, and liver. I got a CT scan on Wednesday, July 8 and found out that the lesions in my liver have grown. The doctor doesn't feel concerned that they have grown enough to require surgery to remove part of my liver. But he feels like the current chemotherapy treatment has run it's course and it's time to switch to something else. For those who follow the different treatments I have had, I started off with Fulvestrant (Faslodex), then Xeloda, then Abraxane, and next... we'll have to wait a few days before we see what the next one will be. He will talk to his colleagues about Gemcitabine. We'll see what his team thinks. I'll keep you updated.

But for now the grandchildren and I have parks to play in, books to read, cookies to bake, pools to swim in, and trees to climb.

More Summer Fun

I have had a busy three days. Thursday, July 9 I had the kids, who could make it, over for Mauri's birthday celebration. We went swimming first and then had a birthday dinner.


Wesley didn't think he wanted to crawl on the hot cement.

Josh and Holly

Katelyn and Mauri

Wesley

Elli and Josh

Elli, Wesley, and Katelyn

Maggie thought she'd rather sleep than swim too much.

Than on to the dinner and most importantly the birthday cake. Mauri wanted an ice cream cake this year. Cookie dough ice cream. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAURI!




Friday, July 10 I made a quick trip up to Rexburg, Idaho for the wedding and reception of one of my missionaries. The Rexburg Temple was beautiful. I had never been to that temple before.

Ed and Joanne England are now home after being the mission President in Boston and I was able to visit with them at the wedding. They are pictured with the groom's father.



After Friday's fun festivities, I headed back home to help Mauri with her yard sale she had on Saturday, July 11. She continues to raise money for the Susan G. Komen Research Foundation. It was a successful day.


And of course we continue to sell our ever popular t-shirts.

Enjoying The Summer

The day after Spring Term was over, off to Arizona I went. Oh by the way, Spring Term I got all A's and one B.

My daughter Jenna and her family live in eastern Arizona and they were waiting for me to show up because the kids were anxious to roast marshmallows.



The next day my dad came to Jenna's for Father's Day. He is our newest member of the shaven head support team.
I was able to spend a couple weeks with two of my seven grandkids.





While I was there I made a quick trip to see my good friends Rebecca and Harvey who live in Albuquerque.

And attended the Albuquerque Temple. Sorry I forgot to take a picture of Rebecca and Harvey.

I ran down to Phoenix for a quick trip for my middle grandchild's third birthday. The birthday boy is in the middle of the picture.

Then back home again for more chemotherapy...

In a few days I'll have an update on the cancer count. I'm still feeling great!