Sunday, September 27, 2009

To floss, or not to floss: that is the question.


Hello family and friends. This is Dan (Darla's son) hopping on my mom's blog at her request to provide an update on how she is doing.

The title of this post is "To floss, or not to floss: that is the question." The point of this title is not to improve the dental hygiene of the reader, but rather, my hope is to help us all to consider what is really important in our lives and to do more to pay attention to those things.

The other day, Mom said to me something along the lines of, "You know, I guess I don't have to floss any more." Fortunately though, we both agreed that brushing would still be a good idea since many friends and family members would be coming to visit in the upcoming days. In that sentence, Mom was doing more than throwing caution to the wind in regards to her war against cavities, she was making a profound observation: It is important to evaluate our lives on occasion and make sure that the less important things in life are being set aside to allow room for that which matters most.

Now, I'm not suggesting that we all stop flossing (in fact, I'll be the first to admit, I could definitely do a better job cultivating that habit). Rather, I propose that we think about what we would do differently if we knew that we only had one month to live. How would we treat those we love if we knew that this might be the last time they see us? Would we be more kind to those we meet? Would we be less afraid to say things we've always wanted to say? Would we be more willing to share the gospel with those who are close to us? Would we take time to enjoy a sunset, a sunrise, or a sweet smelling flower? Would we chew a little slower to savor our food? Would we spend more time on our knees expressing gratitude for the simple things in life that make living so wonderful? Would we be more willing to use that dollar in our pocket to bless the life of someone in need? Would we sing our favorite songs uncomfortably loud even if we couldn't carry a tune with a wheelbarrow? Would we be less quick to anger and faster to forgive? Would we hold grudges, or would we mend wounds caused by an unnecessary cross word or an unkind deed?

At some point, we will all have one month left to live, however, most of us won't be told when that month will be. For Mom, she was informed last week that she likely has at most one month to live. A blood test revealed that her liver function has decreased dramatically and she is now showing signs of advanced liver failure. The doctor told us that Mom will likely have one to two weeks where she will be able to enjoy a somewhat normal quality of life before things begin to get worse. Needless to say, it has been a difficult few days for all of us.

Many of you may not be able to see Mom or spend much time with her during these next few weeks. Because of that, I want to let you know how wonderfully well Mom is handling this difficult situation. As you all know, Mom is an incredibly positive woman. That quality has only been amplified during the past few months. Not once have I heard "Why me?" Not once has she complained about her situation. If you really make her tell the truth, she might let you in on the fact that her stomach hurts, but she will quickly change the subject to something more fun. She is not concerned about her situation, but worries more about her family and friends she is leaving behind. She has been an example of strength and optimism.

I love you Mom and will miss you more than you'll ever know. You have taught me so much throughout my life and those lessons will be passed on to my children and all those I have the opportunity to teach. At this time, however, I am especially grateful for what you have taught me during the past couple of weeks about making room for that which is most important. Although more than 29 years have passed since I was born, no one month has made more of an impact on my life than this past month. Your example of courage, optimism, and happiness have been etched in my mind forever and I am a better man for having spent this time with you.

It is my hope that we all can treat each month as if it were our last and with the same positive attitude with which Mom has treated this month. As we do so, let us all try to recognize when it's time to throw out life's unnecessary "dental floss" and, instead, spend more time enjoying more of life's important "sweet treats."

I love you Mom!

16 comments:

Mauri said...

I love you too.

(daniel that was perfect.)

Laura said...

This is Laura Carlston (you know me as Laura Thomas) and I agree with Mauri - that was perfect. I haven't been in touch much with your family recently, but you guys will always hold a special place in my heart! Thanks for all those days babysitting me and for putting up with my craziness. Thanks for being crazy yourself and making us all have fun and laugh! The world will definitely be a different place without Darla but I can honestly say that I have learned a ton from her example of kindness and love. And I remember all of that from when I was a kid! There's something to be said for that. :)

Darla, you are one amazing woman and thank you for living up to your potential.

Donna Allbritton said...

Daniel, you are a wonderful son. You have a gift for expessing thoughts so well. Your mom is truly wonderful and we are all blessed for knowing her. You are all in my prayers. It's been such a lomg time since 2nd grade!

Jeffrey S Palmer said...

Your family has meant so much to me over the years, and now even though we do not all see each other as we once did, I feel closer to you than I ever have. You are all in my prayers, and our family wants you to know that we are thinking of you and would love to help you in any way possible.

Brad and Jamie Porter said...

Thank you so much for the update. You and your family was always there for mine while my mom was sick and I thank you so much for that. Darla is AMAZING I will never forget girls camp with her and all the amazing memories she has brought into my life. This post brought me to tears and I will always remember the amazing woman that she is:) Please give her a HUGE squeeze for me...

Deanna said...

Darla you are my hero and always have been--Darla your way of embracing life has always been such a great example to me. Your mission service not once, but twice has been another stand out example. You are always happy, enthusiastic, optimistic, humble, honest, clever, I could go on. I'm sorry that we didn't get to go to Mt. Rushmore together and am glad that you are going--I will as well some day. Dan that was a very nice post...your Mother is the best and is truly a great example to us all--please read this comment to her. I love you Darla --Deanna

Deanna said...

p.s. CONGRATULATIONS on the graduation!!!
See ya Thursday

malari said...

Darla...you're my hero! I really loved reading this note. You are amazing! Thank you so much for everything. I don't think I could ever express thanks for everything you have done.

I love you!

Amy Daniel said...

Many of us go through life not really knowing what impact we make on others. I just wanted to let Darla know that she was a great influence for me in high school when I was still trying to figure out who I was. I appreciate the wonderful example she was and is to me.

heather ann said...

Dan and Mauri, I just want you to know that I sure love you guys, and I wish I could be there to give you two a big squeeze! You two are incredible people. Darla, I just want you to know that you will forever be someone that has influenced my life for good. What an amazing example you are to me. I caught myself telling my Young Women this summer "I want to see YOU in the Celestial Kingdom" I remember you telling me that as a beehive and how that always stuck with me and made me want to get married in the temple and live my life in a way that I could be in the Celestial Kingdom with all my dearest friends. You my dear are amazing, and lots of love and kisses to you. Congratulations on your graduation!!

Gramma Cheryl said...

Darla, Daniel, Mauri, & Jenna,
Oh how we love the Colton family! What a difference you have made in our lives! Dan-- thanks for such a beautifully worded blog... Thanks for the insightful questions and the lesson they taught. It also brought tears to feel the love you all have for one another and hear the influence your mom has played in your lives. She's made a great impact on mine.
Darla, you've been such an amazing example to me of how to be a friend. Words seem so thin compared to the thick feelings in my heart. I'm so grateful for the joy you've brought to my life in so many ways! Thank you for your yearly birthday cards and/or emails--never forgetting EVER! Thanks for tending my little ones many, many years ago, for the fun parties you threw for our ward, & for making girl's camp the best place in the world to be. Whenever I think of you, I remember the terrific dimpled smile and contagious laugh. I will always treasure your dear friendship and the great example of service you've always given. Congratulations on being a BYU Graduate! Sending much love and continued prayers for strength. Love you Colton family!

Brenda Cooper said...

I love you Darla...you and you family are in our personal and family prayers. Your children say it all by their examples of love and courage. They are who they are because of their mother. Dan...thoughts have never been written better than what you were able to say in words from your heart. Mauri, Jenna and Daniel are blessed because of your strength and courage, Darla. We are all blessed because of you. How can one say in words thank-you?
Thank-you for being a friend! Thank-you for touching my life! Thank-you for teaching and loving my children! Thank-you for the laughter, the smiles and the faith that you have shared. I have a heart full of precious memories because you took the time to share your life with me! I love you Darla! My Friend! Enjoy Mount Rushmore! You have made life one adventure after another and we have all learned to relax and enjoy the ride...because of you.
Love
Brenda Cooper

cerise said...

Darla you have always been an inspiration to me.

The Faller's! said...

Dan, Thank you SO much for that AMAZING tribute to your mom.

Darla, you truly are a HERO to so many people and have impacted so many peoples lives for the better. You have and always will be the perfect example of who a happy and positive person is. Not only that but also an example of someone who truly LOVES and EMBRACES the gospel and who follows the Saviors example. Thank you for that.

I Love all of you guys! You are in our daily thoughts and prayers!

Unknown said...

So much of my young adult life is glittered with stories of you, Darla. You have been an inspiration to me, and you always will be. It was just the little things that you did that made each and every girl in your care feel as they were the special one, one to achieve great things, and go and see many great places. Now, it is you who will be seeing great places and lining the way with your sparky personality, devoted faith, and courageous faith. I know you have bigger plans ahead of you. Just know your presence here will be missed, but your spirit will live on.

Congratulations on your graduation! What an accomplishment, Miss Valedictorian!

Hugs,
Meagan

Kathie said...

Love you Darla. We will be praying for you and your family. As always, you, and they are incredibly wonderful. We have only a few days left with my mom, and we are squeezing every last minute out of it that we can. Your thoughts and words were inspirational and will help me, and others through the many difficult times. Love you Coltons! Kathie (Bowler) Bennion